My Brother Sephiroth is a Jerk
by Raberba girl
Summary: High-schooler Kadaj is used to being the leader - until Sephiroth comes home from college. No slash.


My Brother Sephiroth is a Jerk

A Final Fantasy VII fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: High-schooler Kadaj is used to being the leader - until Sephiroth comes home from college. (No slash.)

A/N: Oniisan and Oneesan mean "older brother" and "older sister," respectively. The terms don't always have to be used for an actual older sibling.

o.o.o

Kadaj burst through the front door in a high temper, flinging his backpack violently across the living room.

"Don't slam the door!" his mother shouted from the kitchen.

"I can slam what I want!" he shouted back, then dashed up to his room before she could shoot out a tentacle and smack him for mouthing off. He flopped face-forward onto his bed and screamed into the pillow. "_I'm going to blow up that whole freaking school_!"

He heard the others come in, but had just barely started to turn his head when Loz playfully sat down on his back. "Aw, you still mad, Kadaj?" his brother teased.

Yazoo propped his arms on the headboard and leaned over, his long hair tickling the tip of Kadaj's ear. "Don't be so down, we'll pay them back tomorrow."

"Loz, let me borrow your earth materia," Kadaj mumbled.

"No way, it's mine."

"Then get off my back!" Kadaj yelled, rolling over so violently that Loz was thrown to the floor.

Yazoo moved away from the ensuing scuffle and watched in amusement until he heard an ominous squelching noise coming up the stairs. "Mother's coming," he hissed, but his brothers were too busy punching each other to take notice.

Kadaj and Loz each felt a tentacle wrap around his waist; in the next second, they had been pried apart and were now being held aloft.

"Stop," Jenova rumbled deafeningly, "making - so - much - NOISE." She released them abruptly, letting the boys drop painfully to the floor. Then she grumpily squelched out again.

Kadaj sat up, rubbing his bruised hip. "Fine. I'll use Bahamut, then."

Yazoo quirked an eyebrow. "Just to torch the school? And because an overweight blonde loser ticked you off? Right, Kadaj, that's not overkill at all."

"I'm _not_ letting them get away with it!" Kadaj stormed.

"Who said you have to?" Yazoo answered, grinning.

Kadaj immediately calmed. "What's your plan?"

o.o.o.o.o

Kadaj couldn't sleep again, so he sneaked out around midnight and prowled around the neighborhood. "Hey there, kitty," he cooed, seeing an elegant shadow gliding along the side of a house.

The cat, perhaps picking up on the crazy note that never left his voice, arched its back and hissed.

"Come _here_!" he demanded, but the creature fled. Kadaj gave chase, zipping through the night with superhuman grace and speed. In desperation, the animal clawed its way up a tree and leaped to the roof of a house nearby. Undaunted, Kadaj executed a fancy flip and landed in a crouch. Perched on one knee, he grinned at his prey and slowly rose, taking a leisurely step forward. "Gonna behave now, kitty?"

The cat eyed him, its whole body tense. Then it made another leap for freedom.

"Come BACK!" Kadaj bellowed, and pounced; unfortunately, he did not take the time to adjust his force, and ended up crashing through the roof. He tumbled into someone's attic, then straight down into the living room. It was a bit much, even for a super-human, and Kadaj groaned as he climbed back to his feet. "Shut up," he mumbled, pressing a hand to one of his ringing ears.

The high-pitched, mechanical screaming wailed on, so Kadaj frowned in annoyance, drew his sword, an hacked at the security sensor on the wall. "I said SHUT UP!" There was movement from behind him, and a gunshot suddenly blasted a hole in the wall just over Kadaj's shoulder.

"Whatcha doin' in my house?" the homeowner cried hysterically.

Kadaj grinned and turned, sword at the ready, but he was distracted by a glimpse of something outside. "Kitty!" Quick as a flash, he sheathed his sword and crashed out the window, and the chase resumed.

o.o.o.o.o

At exactly 7:00 a.m., Yazoo immediately sat up, shut off the alarm, and climbed out of bed, ready to start the day.

Step 1: Fix the hair, which pretty much meant giving it a single nice toss. (Jenova's children inherited genes that gave them silky, tangle-resistant locks, even in the midst of intense battle sequences.)

Step 2: Wake up Kadaj and Loz (primary attempt). Loz merely grunted and rolled over, but when Yazoo left their shared bedroom and entered his other brother's room, he frowned at what he saw. Kadaj, still dressed in leather rather than pajamas, was curled up on his rumpled sheets, fast asleep. That did not even warrant a second glance; what was quite unusual was that there was a cat cuddled in Kadaj's arms, purring contentedly as it gazed back at Yazoo.

Its fur was blue.

"Now, what have you been up to, Kadaj?" Yazoo sighed. He reached down and shook his brother's shoulder. "Kadaj! Wake up! Time for school!"

Kadaj, eyes still closed, made an inarticulate whining noise and shot out a fist. Yazoo dodged the punch with the ease of long practice, then left the room to continue his morning routine.

Step 3: Make breakfast. Yazoo went to the kitchen, popped a few chunks of unprocessed mako into the steamer, then got out some plates and turned the stove on while he waited for the mako to soften. Since he still had some time before it would be ready, he went back upstairs for

Step 4: Wake up Kadaj and Loz (secondary attempt). "Loz! Get up! Food!"

Groaning, with his eyes still sealed shut, Loz fell out of bed and crawled down the stairs, sniffing hungrily.

Shaking his head, Yazoo went back to Kadaj's room. "Oi, cat-boy. Wake up, I'm making breakfast."

No response.

Yazoo sighed and decided to resume Step 3. As Loz sat slumped at the kitchen table, staring blearily at nothing, Yazoo shut off the steamer, slopped in some Turtle's Paradise Fabulous Cooking Juice, shook it up a bit, then started pouring globs into a heated frying pan. Once he had a nice plateful of mako-pancakes, he hid them from Loz (who would have devoured the whole thing in one go) and marched back up to Kadaj's room.

"_Kadaj_. You are going to be out of bed in five seconds, either of your own volition, or because I kicked you out of it." Since the only reply was a snore, Yazoo thoughtfully pressed a finger to his lip. Then, in one swift movement, he scooped up the cat, which protested loudly at the sudden disturbance.

Kadaj shot upright, his hair sheeting into his face. "HEY!"

"Breakfast," Yazoo told him.

"Kitty!" Kadaj shrieked insistently, reaching for the animal.

Yazoo skipped back and held the cat up above his head. "Come get the kitty, Kadaj."

The two of them crashed down the stairs with much yelling and feline yowling. By the time they reached the bottom, the cat was too furious to stay put, even for Kadaj; it streaked off the instant Yazoo's grip loosened. "I'll get you for that!" Kadaj howled, still half-asleep.

His mother fastened a tentacle around one arm and yanked him into the kitchen, where she had been drawn by the smell of cooking. "What did I tell you about that noise?" she growled. "Shut up, sit down, and eat your pancakes." Then she pulled him closer and inspected him critically with one of her numerous goggling eyes. "Kadaj, you need a hair trim. I can't even see your face."

"I _like_ it this way," he retorted, yanking away.

Yazoo retrieved the plate of pancakes and upturned the contents onto his brothers' plates. "Would you like some, Mother?" he asked indifferently.

"No. I crave other sustenance. I'm going out for a bit; you boys behave, don't be late to school, and _no fighting in the house_. If I see a single sword slash or bullet hole or singe mark on my furniture, I'm locking up your motorcycles and you'll be grounded for a week."

"But Motheeerrr...!" the boys whined, to no avail.

When they had eaten breakfast, they dumped their dirty dishes in the sink and went up finish getting ready for school. "You'll get written up if you wear those boots," Yazoo warned.

Loz grinned nastily as he continued to lace them up. They looked rather incongruous with his school uniform. "Teachers don't write you up when you threaten to zap 'em."

"True. They just call the police instead. Which would make the third time this month; do you _want_ Mother to ground you again?"

"Anyway, we got more interesting fish to fry," Kadaj asserted, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He cocked an eyebrow at his brother. "You got everything we need?"

Yazoo smirked, patted his book bag meaningfully, and headed for the front door.

o.o.o.o.o

The high school courtyard was crowded and noisy at that hour of the morning. The sound of approaching motorcycles caused a sudden wave of movement; kids nervously looked over their shoulders and scattered. By the time the three brothers had pulled up and dismounted, a corridor had practically opened up between them and the building.

Kadaj smirked. "The royal treatment. As always."

"More like the cowering-in-terror treatment," Yazoo remarked, amused. Loz grinned in response and flexed his hand, his sleeve hiding the weapon at his wrist.

"Let's go," Kadaj said shortly. "We've got work to do." Needless to say, he didn't mean schoolwork.

o.o.o.o.o

Kadaj _hated_ English, it was so _boring_. Having to slog through humongous books written by incomprehensible dead guys was not his cup of tea, so he had made an arrangement with his brother: Kadaj did the math and science homework for both of them, while Yazoo took care of the essays and history assignments. (Loz preferred to just sleep through all his classes and bully nerds into doing his work for him.) Mother would kill them if she ever found out, so it was lucky she hadn't yet.

"Kadaj," the teacher called, "what do you think?"

"About what?" he said lazily, coming out of a daydream involving motorcycles, explosions, and kitties.

The teacher frowned. "About _Invisible Man_, Kadaj. We were just discussing it."

"I think it's really cool how he can turn invisible and all," Kadaj drawled.

The teacher paused, then set down her book and asked sweetly, "Go on, Kadaj. How exactly is the protagonist able to turn invisible?"

"Oh, you know," Kadaj invented, "some radioactive spider bit him and he started walking through walls and stuff, and then...yeah, and no one can see him anymore."

"Well," she answered, looking dangerous, "seeing as how this novel is actually about a young black man struggling with racial issues in mid-20th century America, I can only assume you haven't even bothered to read the book _or_ pay attention in class."

"Yeah. Where's Yazoo when you need him?" Kadaj confirmed cheerfully.

"Out! Get out of this classroom, Kadaj! I will have a talk with you in a few minutes."

Kadaj shrugged, ambled over to the door, exited the room, and kept on walking. A blue light on his communicator had started blinking, which meant that the trap must have been activated. Chuckling gleefully, Kadaj made his way to the parking lot, where he was soon joined by his brothers.

They stood together for a while, smirking as they relished their handiwork. Finally Kadaj said, "So. Thought you'd have some more fun with our bikes, did you?"

A fat boy with blonde hair, who bore a striking resemblance to Dudley Dursley, immediately began to whine. "Aw, Kadaj, I was just lookin'! No way I'd...I'd..."

"Pour sugar in the gas tanks?" Yazoo suggested. "Key the paint? Smash the mirrors? Like _last time_, you mean?"

The boy whimpered.

"Heh heh," Loz chuckled, cracking his knuckles in anticipation. "Don't see your gang around, Corneo. Up and ran when they saw ya get caught, did they?"

Corneo, whose hands were stuck fast to Kadaj's motorcycle, emitted a high-pitched shriek of terror. "Don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me!"

"Sorry," Kadaj said lazily. "Afraid I'm not in the mood for mercy." He lifted his sword and touched the tip of it thoughtfully to Corneo's cheeks, his nose, his throat, as if wondering where to strike.

"RAPPS!" Corneo screamed, his eyeballs nearly popping out of their sockets. "Rapps, come to me!"

There was a screeching sound from high in the air. Kadaj and his brothers whirled around to find a huge bird-like monster swooping down on them. They scattered just in time, then turned back with deadly flashing eyes.

"This birdie's going down~," Loz sang softly.

"What do you think, Kadaj?" Yazoo asked conversationally. "Shiva, Leviathan, Bahamut? Or should we just pummel it with Comet or something?"

Kadaj shrugged. "Why waste MP? Bet you 500 gil we can take it down in three strikes."

"That depends on who goes first," Yazoo pointed out, but Loz was already attacking.

Corneo had time for only a few frantic tugs to get free before his monster had been dispatched of, and the brothers' attention returned to him.

"Now," Kadaj wondered. "Where were we?"

o.o.o.o.o

Jenova made an announcement while they were eating dinner. "Your brother's coming home for Spring Break. He'll be staying in your room, Kadaj, so you'll have to move in with the others, and we're _all_ going together to pick him up from the airport."

There was a shocked silence, broken only by the clattering sound of Loz dropping his fork. Then Kadaj was on his feet, yelling, even as his brothers exchanged looks of mixed apprehension and excitement. "What's he doing back home, just when we finally got rid of him? You can't give him my room! _He's_ the one barging in out of nowhere! _I'm_ the leader, so _I_ get the room to myself!"

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, Kadaj," his mother snapped. "You should be _happy_ to have your big brother come to visit."

"But-!"

"Mother," Yazoo pointed out, "it doesn't make sense to put three of us in one room. Why don't I - or Loz -" he added grudgingly, "share with Niisan instead?" Though he spoke calmly, he was not quite able to hide the hopefulness in his expression.

"Out of the question," Jenova said firmly. "Sephiroth is my most beautiful, brilliant child. He shall have a room to himself, he shouldn't have to put up with mere avatars."

Yazoo and Loz were crestfallen, and Kadaj looked as if he was furious enough to gnaw straight through a rock. "Avatars! Is that all we are to you, Mother? We're beautiful and deadly, too; our abilities far surpass those of any human! Is it not enough for you?" Kadaj suddenly felt like he was choking. He had to swallow and blink hard before he managed to whisper, "Don't you love us at all?"

She gave him an idle look. "Love you? Why would I?" It was obvious she did not have much interest in the subject. "Loz, clear the table; Yazoo, get to work on those pots and pans. Kadaj will clean the counters when he finishes sulking." Yazoo and Loz moved to obey, shooting their brother nervous looks as they did so. Kadaj stood with his hands clenched, staring straight ahead without seeing anything.

o.o.o.o.o

That Saturday morning, Yazoo had to drag his brothers out of bed again so that they could get to the airport in time to meet Sephiroth's plane. Then, of course, they had to wait for two hours since the flight was delayed.

When it finally arrived, Kadaj was sprawled upside-down in a chair, in a state of utter boredom; Yazoo was flirting with a pretty girl working at the coffee counter; and Loz was creeping around, scaring small children. The building began to shake, and everyone looked out the full-length windows to see a plane skidding down the runway, throwing sparks as smoke poured from its wings.

Soon after it screeched to a halt, people came streaming from the downed plane, desperate to escape. The last out was a frightening figure, floating down in majestic, spine-chilling beauty. He did not even bat an eyelid when the plane exploded behind him, wreathing him in flames as he made his approach.

"That's my boy," Jenova said happily.

"Show-off," Kadaj muttered.

Sephiroth headed straight for the window, effortlessly shattering it as he passed through. "Mother," he greeted. "It's been a while."

"How have you been, son?" she asked fondly.

"Quite well. My plans to take over the Planet are progressing nicely." They embraced. Glad as he was to see her, he could not help wincing at the feel of her sticky alien goo getting in his hair.

Sephiroth, hearing the meaningful sound of two throats being cleared, raised his head to find two of his younger brothers staring almost longingly at him. "Niisan," Yazoo said softly. "Welcome back."

Sephiroth frowned in distaste. "It's the avatars."

Kadaj marched up, getting in his face. "You glad to see us, bro?" he asked challengingly.

"Not particularly."

"Good!" Kadaj yelled. "So I guess you won't mind when I stab you in the eye!" He was just raising his sword when he felt the hilt of Masamune hitting his gut. He was slammed backwards, flying across the room until he hit the far wall.

As he climbed to his hands and knees, coughing, he lifted his head to see Yazoo and Loz staring wide-eyed at him. Then they turned back to Sephiroth, exclaiming admiringly, "That was _cool_, Niisan!" and Loz was begging, "Can I borrow Masamune sometime, Niisan? _Please_?"

"Are you insane?" Sephiroth said in disbelief.

"We'll let you have a go on our motorcycles," Yazoo offered slyly, and Sephiroth appeared thoughtful.

"Stop fawning over him!" Kadaj shouted. "He's a jerk! He hates us! _I'm_ your leader, not him!"

Sephiroth looked at him, then began to approach ominously. Kadaj scrambled to his feet and reached for his sword, forgetting that it had been knocked out of reach. Sephiroth took his face in one hand and studied it; Kadaj flailed at him, but that grip was like iron. "You look a bit like me," Sephiroth mused, as if to himself. "You have my genes, you even _dress_ like me...but you're just a whiny brat when it comes down to it. Not worth my time."

Sephiroth released him with such violence that Kadaj missed the chance to hit him. So he slumped back against the wall, seething, as he watched his silver-haired brother saunter back to the others.

o.o.o.o.o

Life in Jenova's household became more lively than usual, though not as much fun. Even the deceptively simple activity of watching TV could lead to war.

"Hey!" Kadaj protested. "I was watching that!"

"Not anymore," Sephiroth answered calmly, settling down with the remote he had swiped and changing the channel to a movie about a huge meteor crashing into the planet. Kadaj leaped into his brother's lap, viciously driving a knee into Sephiroth's gut as he did so, and stretched his arms as far as they would go, trying to grab the remote that Sephiroth was holding just out of reach. It was a bit difficult, since Sephiroth had seized a handful of his silky blue hair and was now pulling backwards on it.

"Let go!" Kadaj howled. "Mother! MOTHER!"

The very tip of one finger touched the remote, which Sephiroth suddenly used to smack him in the face with before holding it out of reach again. "Get off me."

"GIMME THE REMOTE!"

"Get off me, before I cast Ultima on you."

"MINE! IT'S MINE!" Kadaj was now bent quite far backwards, his scalp burning with pain as he continued to strain furiously for the remote.

Loz walked in, came to a halt, and smirked. "Oh, sorry. Didn't realize you were busy. I'll leave you two alone, shall I?"

Sephiroth let go of Kadaj's hair so he could shove him away, tossing aside the remote as he did so. "No need. Let's take the bikes out again."

"Awesome!" Loz chirped in delight. "You can use Kadaj's."

"No way!" Kadaj shouted, bouncing to his feet.

"Get lost, small annoying person," Sephiroth told him.

"You can't drive it," Kadaj said hotly. "You _can't_! I've got the key, and I'm not letting you touch it!"

Sephiroth shrugged. "So?"

"Kadaj," Loz pointed out, "he's _Sephiroth_. He can do anything. I bet he can hot-wire a motorcycle no problem." They grinned at each other, which only enraged Kadaj all the more.

o.o.o.o.o

"Mother," Kadaj begged, draping his arms beseechingly around her. "_Please_ send him away, please? Niisan isn't happy here. He wants to go home." Feigning concern for his older brother felt like having to swallow motor oil, but it was for a good cause.

"This _is_ his home," Jenova muttered, absorbed in trying to balance her checkbook. A difficult task, since all she had to grip the pencil with were a bunch of slimy tentacles.

Kadaj ground his teeth. "Mother...Niisan doesn't belong here. He should be out conquering the world for you or something...not wasting time here, sleeping in my bed and stealing my bike!"

"Sephiroth is here on vacation, and I intend to enjoy his presence for as long as I have him. Now, get out, Kadaj! Mother's busy!"

Kadaj left, kicking things as he went.

o.o.o.o.o

Tifa knew, as soon as she saw Jenova's family walking into the restaurant, that she _definitely_ should have listened to her earlier gut instinct and taken the night off.

"All yours, Lockheart," her boss said quickly, before she could even open her mouth. Next minute, he and all the other waitresses were on the other side of the room.

Tifa growled, slipped on her gloves just in case, and flexed her fingers in preparation. Then she plastered a smile on her face and went out to greet the customers. "Welcome!" she called in as chipper a tone as she could manage. "Table for five?"

"You look familiar," Sephiroth murmured, frowning.

"It's Cloud-nii's girlfriend," Loz explained with a smirk. "The one I sent to the hospital last month."

"How's your stomach, Loz?" Tifa asked sweetly. "Still able to digest food all right?"

Jenova cut in before the exchange could drag out further. "What an unprofessional establishment, with waitresses chatting up the customers," she said frostily. "Perhaps we should find a better place to eat."

Tifa thought this was an excellent idea, but Yazoo thwarted her hopes. "But, Mother, this is the only place with drinks imported from Costa del Sol," he protested. "They're the best, and Niisan has never had one."

"Turtle's Paradise is better," Kadaj mumbled. No one listened to him, so he kicked over a chair.

"None of that," Tifa snapped harshly, "or I'll throw you out. I'm not gonna put up with you boys causing trouble in my restaurant."

"_Your_ restaurant?" Loz repeated, smirking.

"More like your _job_," put in the amused Yazoo. "On the line, I mean, if it turns out your valuable customers aren't satisfied with the service."

Tifa narrowed her eyes. She would have to go along with the blackmail for now, but there were other ways of fighting back...

"The big-chested girl from the Ultimate Battle!" Sephiroth finally remembered. "I hadn't realized it was _possible_ to miss all seven Yeah!s on your Limit Break. Were you terrified for your life in the presence of my magnificence, or was it merely a backfired attempt to show off for your boyfriend?"

Five minutes later, Kadaj said in awe, "Attacking Sephiroth...that was a really, really dumb thing to do."

"Think she'll be okay?" Loz asked worriedly.

"Not sure," was Yazoo's dubious answer. The three of them were gathered around Tifa's fallen body, gazing down at her with interest.

"She's like a cockroach," Sephiroth complained as he sheathed his sword. "The spiky-haired one, too. Sometimes I think Masamune is getting dull, the way people keep popping back up after being stabbed with it."

"Don't die, Big-chest!" Loz suddenly burst out. "Then we won't be able to play anymore!"

Yazoo rolled his eyes, pulled a Phoenix Down out of his pocket, and dropped it on her.

"Can we eat already?" Jenova complained.

"Window seat!" Kadaj immediately dove for a booth, yet somehow Sephiroth beat him to it and sat smirking smugly, as Jenova slid heavily into the seat across from him. "Jerk!" Kadaj yelled, flinging himself at his brother.

They grappled awkwardly in the confined space for a few seconds, until Jenova grabbed Kadaj and wrenched him away. "How dare you make scene in public," she rumbled in a terrible voice.

"_He_ started it!" Kadaj insisted, pointing.

"I thought attacking Niisan was a really, really dumb thing to do," Loz said, and he and Yazoo burst into laughter.

Kadaj gave a wordless shriek of rage, feeling like he was about to explode. "I hate this family! I hate you, Niisan!"

Sephiroth shrugged. "Whatever. Mother, are we ever going decide what to order, or are we just going to sit here listening to Kadaj's tantrums all night?"

"Certainly not the latter," Jenova answered. She gave Kadaj a little shake. "Behave, you hear me? Or I'll ground you for a month."

"Fine! I don't care! I _like_ being grounded!" he cried recklessly.

"In that case, I'll forego the grounding and simply drown that stupid cat of yours."

Kadaj went utterly still. Jenova finally released him into a seat, where sat limply with his eyes wide and staring.

o.o.o.o.o

Kadaj had not used the tree house in years. Yet he was up there now, huddled with his back against the thick oak trunk, hugging Ao-chan like a teddy bear. "Meow," the cat said irritably, wriggling a bit, but Kadaj only hugged her tighter. She growled low in her throat, then turned her head and tried to lick what few parts of herself she could reach.

There was a sound of boots on the wooden slats they used to climb up, and Yazoo's head emerged into view. "You still upset about last night?" he inquired.

"I'm not 'upset,'" Kadaj growled sulkily. "I'm _dangerous_."

"Uh huh." Yazoo hauled himself over the edge so that he was perched on the creaking wooden platform as well.

Kadaj suddenly let out a long, long sigh, and his limbs finally relaxed. Ao-chan, seeing her chance, bolted away. "Now look what you made me do," Kadaj complained, though he did not otherwise react.

"Oi!" a voice called, "you guys up there?"

"Yes," Yazoo called back, and then Loz was making his way up to join them. The three of them crouched together, uncomfortably crowded in the confined space.

"The tree house shrunk," Loz commented unhappily.

"_We're_ the ones who grew, idiot," Yazoo pointed out.

"I _knew_ that, idiot!"

"Then don't say idiotic things like that, idiot."

"Shut up," Kadaj grumbled.

Silence fell over them. After a while, Loz shifted uncomfortably. "It's hot."

Yazoo sighed. "Sometimes I wish we had something to wear besides leather," he grumbled.

"Yeah," Kadaj agreed listlessly.

They were quiet again. Then Loz suddenly burst out, "I wish Niisan didn't have to go back after the break. I wish he could stay with us."

"Shut up!" Kadaj shouted at him.

"You don't like him 'cause you're jealous," Loz accused.

"Why would I be jealous of _him_? He got blown up by a pack of freaks!"

"No," Yazoo said musingly. "It's not so much that you're jealous, but that you're...hurt." There was pain in his own expression as well. "Because Mother loves him more than you...more than any of us."

In an instant, Kadaj had him pinned against the tree with a sword held to his throat. "_You're_ the one who's about to get hurt," he hissed, but was distracted by a sudden noise. It was an inhuman shrieking that sent chills up the spine, so utterly alien that Kadaj took a minute to recognize it. "What are you doing to my kitty!" he screamed, launching straight down out of the tree house.

The back door banged open; something that looked like a blue comet streaked out of it, so fast that the drops of blood it left in its wake were few and far between - by the time Sephiroth had stepped out, Ao-chan was long gone. He stood glowering after the cat, Masamune in one hand, until Kadaj descended on him.

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

"I will kill _you_," Sephiroth snarled, "if your little vermin tries to defecate on me again."

It was quite an epic battle, surpassing even their usual CGI glory. In the end, however, only one of the two villains could be victorious.

Kadaj forced himself back to his hands and knees on the strength of sheer willpower, and coughed a spatter of blood into his hand. Then, try as he might, he could not rise, could not resist as Sephiroth delivered him a sharp kick to the head and stalked back into the house. Kadaj managed to teeter on all fours for a minute, but then flopped back into the charred grass. He couldn't move. He felt like his HP was at 1. In fact, it probably was.

After a minute, Yazoo and Loz cautiously walked past on their way in; one of them silently dropped a Potion in front of Kadaj's face. An angry tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, and he thought for a moment that he would refuse to drink it...but he was hurt too badly to indulge in what little pride he had left.

Besides, no one was watching.

It took a few minutes, but he finally managed to work the little bottle up to his mouth and swallow the contents. A healing warmth crept through his body - he still felt terrible, but he was able to sit up, at least. He dropped his head into his hands, his thoughts a hot blur; slowly, his fingers curled tight, digging into his scalp.

Then he was up and running in a swift, uneven gait. _'I hate this!'_ he thought, and then, because the feeling was too huge to remain trapped inside his head, it came bursting out of his mouth: "I HATE THIS!"

Where was he running to? Who was there to listen? "SOMEONE LISTEN! Listen to me before I _kill_ you!"

A familiar laugh echoed in his memory. Kadaj slammed to a halt, straining to hear, but when the laugh came again, of course it was only in his head. _"Poor Kadaj,"_ her voice said pityingly. _"I wish there was something I could do."_

"Neesan," he whispered. Then he began to cry, because she was gone forever. "Neesan...Neesan..." He suddenly froze. That girl was gone, but there was someone else. Someone...maybe not the one he wanted, but...

o.o.o.o.o

Cloud locked up Fenrir and then trudged wearily up the steps to his apartment. Work had been hard on him today, he wanted nothing more than to crash for ten or twelve hours.

He frowned when he saw the windowpane lying in pieces all over the front porch. The curtains Tifa had hung for him were swaying gently in the breeze, catching on the jagged window frame. "You have got to be kidding me," Cloud muttered.

Well. No one broke into _his_ home and got away with it. Pulling the heavy sword from his back, Cloud entered the apartment carefully, eyes darting around for danger. The place had been trashed; broken objects and furniture were scattered all over, holes had been punched in the walls, and...

Why the heck would a burglar scribble pictures of cats on the floor? Cloud went over to pull out the unusual katana that had been thrust into the shattered TV screen. He inspected it, sighed, and sheathed his own sword.

o.o.o.o.o

Kadaj lay curled up in the shredded bed, vaguely imagining himself as the Big Bad Wolf in that story - though the person he was waiting for made a rather unconvincing Little Red Riding Hood. He tensed when he heard the front door open, and held his breath as footsteps approached. His hands clenched in readiness.

Someone came into the bedroom, paused, then sat down on the edge of the bed. Kadaj was like a coiled spring, ready to explode at the slightest provocation.

"Why the cat pictures?" Cloud asked conversationally.

That question was not exactly the one Kadaj had been expecting.

Cloud sighed. "I hear Sephiroth is back in town," he remarked. "Must be tough, having to put up with _him_ on top of Jenova." He paused. Then, "Kadaj...what'd he do to you?"

That did it. Kadaj crashed upward, driving Cloud into the wall; he was just rearing back for a punch when Cloud head-butted him in the chest, sending him staggering backward. Kadaj pushed through the pain and dove for his weapon, but just as his fingers grasped it, Cloud's blade came slicing into him, pinning him to the floor. Kadaj's world went dark.

Cloud frowned and pulled the sword free. Kadaj didn't move. "Oi. Kadaj." No response. Was he KO'd? How could that be? His HP must have been _really_ low for him to have been knocked out by a single strike. What had Sephiroth done to him, anyway? After a moment of deliberation, Cloud cast Life on him, though he was wary of restoring his antagonist's health fully.

Kadaj groaned and stirred. He did not get up, though...he lay there silently, lifting his hand so he could punch the floor. Then he did it again. And again.

"Kadaj..."

"What."

Cloud blinked at the dullness of his little brother's voice. "You don't have to put up with it, you know."

Silence.

"Kadaj...I got out of that house as soon as I could. I couldn't stand it, Jenova always scorning me, acting like I was a failure and a disappointment; Sephiroth ruining my life without even realizing, wouldn't have cared even if he did..." Cloud shook his head. "No one should have to live like that." He eyed the fallen figure, but still there was no response. "At least you have two brothers who look up to you," he pointed out. "I had no one except my friends. They were the ones who-"

"Well, great for you!" Kadaj shouted, finally bouncing upright. "For me- Yazoo! Loz! That's _it_!"

Cloud grinned. "Just a friendly suggestion...you might want to try being nicer to people. Blend in a bit more. Oh, and stop blowing stuff up."

"Drop dead."

Cloud shrugged. "Have fun moping by yourself, then."

Kadaj hugged his knees, resting his chin on them as he thought. "I don't know how to be nice," he mumbled.

Cloud was quiet for a long time before he answered. "Sometimes what I do...is ask myself what...what Aeris would do. How she would treat people." Just talking about her was making Cloud's throat tight, but he never expected Kadaj to hide his face against his knees and burst into tears.

After a long time of screaming out his grief, Kadaj finally looked up to find that Cloud was angrily rubbing tears away from his own eyes. "I miss her!" Kadaj yelled. "She was the only one who was ever nice to me! I want her BACK!"

"She's not coming back," Cloud whispered.

"I'll kill him! Like he killed her!"

Cloud sighed. "Then what, Kadaj? He's found out how to manipulate the Lifestream itself. His genes are embedded in countless people out there - including _you_. And even if you did find a way to make him disappear for good...Aeris still won't come back."

Kadaj dropped his head onto his knees again, allowing his hands to flop down to the floor. After a long time, he gave a deep sigh. "Is Big-chest as nice as Neesan was?"

Cloud frowned. "Who's 'Big-chest'?"

"Your girlfriend, moron." Kadaj suddenly popped upright again, his eyes wide and shining with the enormity of his realization. "Neesan wouldn't call you a moron! You're not a moron!" Then, practicing how to give a compliment, "Your spiky hair is cute!"

A vein started throbbing in Cloud's temple. "Kadaj, you are really going to need to work on that."

"What a cool sword you have!" Kadaj continued happily, trying to think of nice things that people said on TV and in comics and stuff. "This apartment is _lovely_. Who did your decorating?"

Cloud suddenly leaned forward menacingly. "Speaking of which," he growled, "I am not letting you off the hook 'til you've compensated me for damages, Kadaj. Down to the very last gil."

"But I don't have any money," Kadaj protested.

"Don't give me that. You probably kill more monsters than _I_ do."

"But I have to spend it as soon as I get it," Kadaj whined, "or else Mother takes it to pay off Niisan's Take-Over-The-Planet loans."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Fine. Looks like I have no choice... Kadaj, you're staying here, where I can keep an eye on you, 'til you've paid me back in _full_."

Kadaj gaped at him. "You mean...I can live with you? I don't have to go back to Mother and Niisan?"

"Just 'til you've paid me back," Cloud said warningly. "It shouldn't take you too long."

"You're the best brother in the _world_!" Kadaj cheered, glomping him.

"Argh! Get off me! Get off NOW!"

o.o.o.o.o

Kadaj managed to draw out the payments until the end of the school year. By that time, Loz had dropped out, but Kadaj, with some tutoring from Red XIII, Tifa, and Vincent, managed to pass all his senior classes with honors.

He had not had much opportunity to speak to his other brothers much after he moved out, so it was a bit awkward to find Yazoo standing behind him in line for the graduation ceremony. "Hi," Kadaj said, a little apprehensively.

For a minute, he thought his brother was not going to answer, but then Yazoo said coolly, "Hello."

That was encouraging. "How've you been?"

"Fine." A pause. "You?"

"I've been great!"

Another pause, more awkward than the first.

"Oh. Really." Yazoo seemed not to know what to say.

Kadaj took a deep breath. "Cloud-nii and the others, we're all going out to eat later. To, you know, celebrate. You want to come?"

Yazoo looked away. Finally, he said in a low voice, "They wouldn't want me along."

"Sure they would!" Kadaj burst out. "And even if they don't, _I_ want you to come," he said firmly.

Yazoo looked at him for a long time. "I'll think about it," he finally said.

Kadaj grinned, then punched him playfully in the shoulder.

Yazuu smiled a little, and punched back.

When Kadaj had reached the wings of the stage and was waiting for his name to be called, he looked out over the audience. Jenova was, unsurprisingly, nowhere to be seen, though Loz was lounging in a seat near the back, looking utterly bored.

Several sections closer, Cloud and Tifa and all the others were sitting together. Barret had even flown in from his oil fields, and appeared to be teasing little Marlene; Cid was sitting with an arm flung across his wife's shoulders, and Yuffie was poking at Vincent, who appeared to have fallen asleep. The sight of them warmed Kadaj's heart, the knowledge that they had come to support _him_.

His name was called. As he walked out, he could hear Yuffie and Marlene and Denzel yelling, "GO KADAJ!" Then Tifa's shout, "We're so proud of you, kid!" Kadaj felt himself grinning hugely as he accepted his diploma.

Then, something under one of the seats caught his eye...a blue-furred tail, flicking lazily against the floor. "KITTY!" he screamed, and joyfully dove off the stage.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I haven't played the game in a while, so sorry if I made mistakes on what mako is and stuff.

I was reading a fic by Archsage Soren called _Murphy's Law_, in which Sephiroth is the gang leader of the three Remnants from the movie. That got me wondering how Kadaj felt about Sephiroth taking over his place as the leader of the group, and then the idea for this fic was born.

Man, the cat was not in my plans at ALL. Ao-chan just strolled into the fic, and Kadaj fell in love at once and refused to let her go. Then she kept coming _back_, instead of staying put in that early scene. "Ao" is the Japanese noun for "blue."


End file.
